Let’s be honest, folks: great sex isn’t just about what you see in movies. It’s about connection, communication, and understanding what truly makes your partner tick.
And when it comes to oral sex, there’s often a gap between what men experience and what women think they enjoy. It’s time we closed that gap!
This isn’t about pressure; it’s about empowerment—equipping you with the knowledge to confidently explore new dimensions of pleasure with your partner.
By understanding these unspoken desires, you can transform oral sex from a routine act into a genuinely mind-blowing experience.
Get ready to deepen your connection and seriously level up your skills between the sheets.
1. Varying Pressure is Key
Imagine eating the same food, prepared exactly the same way, every single day. You’d get bored, right? Oral sex is no different.
Men aren’t always looking for the same intensity all the time. Varying the pressure is essential to keeping things interesting and maximizing pleasure.
Think about it: alternating between gentle, teasing licks and more firm, confident strokes can create an incredible build-up. Experiment with using your lips, tongue, and even your hands to apply different levels of pressure.
This dynamic approach keeps the experience engaging and ensures that he doesn’t become desensitized. Remember, communication is key, so don’t be afraid to ask what feels good in the moment.
A little feedback can go a long way in fine-tuning your technique.
2. It’s Not Just About the Head
While the head of the penis is undoubtedly sensitive, neglecting the rest of the package is a major oversight.
The shaft, the balls, the area underneath – they all have nerve endings that respond incredibly well to attention. Think of it like a symphony: you can’t just play one note and expect a masterpiece.
Use your hands to gently caress and massage the shaft while you focus on the head. Tease the area around the base of the penis with light flicks of your tongue.
Don’t be afraid to incorporate the testicles into the experience, using gentle sucks and kisses. This holistic approach creates a more complete and satisfying experience for him, demonstrating that you’re truly invested in his pleasure from every angle.
The goal here is to explore and discover what specifically turns him on. Explore incorporating kinky sex to make the experience even more enjoyable and pleasurable.
3. Communication (Yes, Even Here!)
Okay, I know talking about sex can feel awkward, but trust me, it’s a game-changer.
Men aren’t mind-readers, and what feels amazing to one guy might not work for another. The best way to ensure you’re hitting the mark is to simply ask!
During the act, a simple “Does this feel good?” or “Do you want me to go faster or slower?” can make a world of difference.
But communication doesn’t have to be limited to verbal cues. Pay attention to his body language. Is he arching his back? Moaning louder? Those are clear signs that you’re on the right track.
And don’t be afraid to guide him with your hands, showing him exactly what you like.
Here’s a personal example: I once dated a guy who loved a particular flicking motion of the tongue, but he was too shy to tell me until I directly asked.
Once he shared that, oral sex became infinitely better for both of us. He felt more comfortable expressing his desires, and I felt empowered knowing I was giving him exactly what he wanted.
It’s a win-win! If communicating feels difficult, start slow and gentle, and remember that open communication is key to sex talk.
4) Incorporate Your Hands
Your hands are incredibly versatile tools that can elevate oral sex to a whole new level. Use them to stroke his shaft, gently tug on his balls, or even massage his perineum (the area between the testicles and anus).
The combination of oral stimulation and manual touch can create a powerful and overwhelming sensation. Try using one hand to apply pressure at the base of his penis while your mouth is focused on the head.
Or, use both hands to rhythmically stroke him as you go down. Don’t underestimate the power of a simple handjob alongside oral sex – it can add intensity and control to the experience.
The beauty of incorporating your hands is that it allows you to create a more multi-sensory experience, engaging multiple nerve endings and heightening his pleasure.
5. Teasing and Edging Are Your Friends
The anticipation can often be just as exciting as the climax itself.
Teasing and edging – bringing him close to orgasm and then pulling back – can build up incredible tension and make the eventual release even more intense.
To tease him, alternate between periods of intense stimulation and moments of gentle caressing or even complete pauses. This rollercoaster effect can drive him wild.
When edging, bring him right to the brink of orgasm and then stop, allowing the sensation to subside slightly before starting again. Repeat this process a few times before letting him go all the way.
This technique requires careful attention to his body language and cues, but the payoff is well worth the effort. He will be begging you and you will be able to fulfill the act.
6. Focus on Your Own Enjoyment
This might sound counterintuitive, but it’s crucial. If you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s going to show, and that can kill the mood for both of you.
Oral sex should be a mutually pleasurable experience, not a chore. So, find ways to make it enjoyable for yourself! Try experimenting with different positions that allow you to feel more comfortable and in control.
Don’t be afraid to use your hands to guide him and ensure that you’re getting the stimulation you need as well. This is a great opportunity to have some steamy activities.
I remember feeling so much pressure to “perform” during oral sex early in my relationships that I completely forgot to focus on my own pleasure.
It wasn’t until I started prioritizing my own enjoyment and communicating my needs that the experience became truly fulfilling for both of us. So relax, breathe, and remember that your pleasure matters too!
Lube can also be your best friend here! Consider using a Lube Life Water-Based Personal Lubricant to enhance the sensation and make things smoother and more comfortable for both of you.
In the realm of intimacy, understanding and fulfilling your partner’s desires can profoundly deepen your connection. The psychological impact of relationships can not be dismissed.
Conclusion
So, there you have it: six secrets men secretly wish you knew about oral sex.
It’s not about ticking off boxes on a checklist; it’s about cultivating a deeper understanding of each other’s desires and communicating openly about what feels good.
By varying pressure, exploring all areas, communicating effectively, incorporating your hands, teasing and edging, and prioritizing your own enjoyment, you can transform oral sex into an unforgettable and mutually satisfying experience.
Remember, the key to great sex lies in exploration, communication, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.
So, go forth and experiment, and watch your sex life reach new heights! These simple tips will keep the passion rekindled.
Michael Carter is a seasoned professional with a decade of experience specializing in sexual health and sexually transmitted infections. As a dedicated advocate for public health, Michael has worked extensively to raise awareness about the prevention of sex-related diseases. With a blend of scientific rigor and an approachable style, he aims to empower readers with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions about their health and well-being. When not writing, he likes to bond with his closest friends over Japanese food or a drink.
