Are you and your partner spending more time scrolling than connecting? It’s a common issue in our hyper-connected world, but the constant digital noise can erode the foundation of your relationship.
A study on the impact of technology on relationships reveals that excessive screen time correlates with decreased relationship satisfaction. This isn’t about blaming technology, it’s about consciously creating space for meaningful connection.
If you feel like you’re living parallel lives, glued to your devices, a digital detox for couples might be exactly what you need.
We’re here to provide you with six actionable rules that will help you reclaim real-life intimacy and rediscover the joy of connecting with your partner on a deeper level, and it is going to be fun!
1) Designate Tech-Free Zones
Have you ever tried to have a meaningful conversation with your partner while one (or both) of you is simultaneously scrolling through social media? It probably didn’t go very well.
Our phones steal our attention and make us less present, and it’s impossible to truly connect when our minds are elsewhere.
Consider designating specific areas in your home, like the bedroom or dining table, as tech-free zones. This creates a physical space dedicated to connection.
Implement a “no phones in the bedroom” rule one hour before bed and during meals. This simple change allows you to focus on each other without digital distractions.
The psychological principle at play here is mindfulness.
By intentionally removing distractions, you’re training yourselves to be more present and engaged in the moment, fostering deeper connection. Think of it as creating a sanctuary for your relationship, free from the demands of the digital world.
2) Schedule Dedicated “Us” Time
It’s easy for life to get in the way, with work, chores, and other responsibilities taking precedence. But, think about it, if you do not schedule to be with your partner and give them attention, you are giving that time to other things.
Scheduling dedicated “us” time is crucial for nurturing your relationship. Make it a recurring event, just like any other important appointment. This could be anything from a weekly date night to a daily 30-minute walk together.
During this time, put away your phones and focus solely on each other. The Gottman Institute, renowned for its research on relationship dynamics, emphasizes the importance of regular, dedicated time for couples to connect and communicate.
Remember, quality time isn’t just about being in the same room, it’s about being fully present and engaged with each other.
3) Establish “Tech-Free” Hours Each Day
Do you feel like you’re constantly bombarded with notifications, emails, and social media updates? It’s overwhelming, right?
Constant connectivity can lead to stress, anxiety, and a feeling of being perpetually “on.” We have to consider our well-being and our partner’s. Establishing daily “tech-free” hours creates a much-needed respite from the digital world.
Decide on a specific time each day, perhaps in the evening, when both of you agree to power down your devices. Use this time to engage in activities that promote relaxation and connection, such as reading, talking, playing a game, or simply enjoying each other’s company.
When you set clear boundaries around technology use, you’re creating space for your minds to rest, your bodies to relax, and your relationship to thrive.
4) Create Shared Offline Activities
Are your hobbies primarily solitary and screen-based? While individual pursuits are important, building shared offline activities can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.
Take a cooking class, learn a new language, join a hiking group, or volunteer together. These shared experiences provide opportunities for collaboration, communication, and laughter.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who engage in novel and challenging activities together report higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
The novelty and challenge release dopamine in the brain, creating positive associations with your partner and strengthening your connection.
Plus, you’ll have new inside jokes and shared stories to cherish.
5) Practice Mindful Device Usage
Even when you’re not completely disconnecting, you can practice mindful device usage. This means being conscious of how and when you’re using your devices, and minimizing distractions when you’re with your partner.
Avoid checking your phone during conversations, put it away during meals, and resist the urge to constantly refresh your social media feeds. Psychologist Sherry Turkle, author of “Reclaiming Conversation,” argues that constant connectivity erodes our ability to have deep, meaningful conversations.
We need to cultivate the skill of being present and engaged with each other, even when technology is present. Before reaching for your phone when you’re with your partner, ask yourself: “Is this truly necessary? Or am I just seeking a distraction?”
6) Have Open Conversations About Technology Use
Open and honest communication is essential for addressing any issues and setting healthy boundaries. Share your feelings about each other’s technology habits, and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.
This might involve setting specific guidelines for phone use during certain times, or agreeing to take regular breaks from social media. It’s important to approach these conversations with empathy and understanding.
Remember, the goal isn’t to control each other, but to create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
In my own relationship, we once realized we were spending more time showing each other memes than having actual conversations.
It sounds silly, but we had to consciously acknowledge that this pattern was creating a superficial connection, and that we had to change by having honest conversations.
“The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.”
If you’re looking for a resource to help you understand the dynamics of a healthy relationship and how to navigate challenges, consider The Seven Principles For Making Marriages Work (affiliate link). It offers practical advice and research-backed insights to strengthen your connection.
The Bottom Line
A digital detox isn’t about eliminating technology altogether; it’s about intentionally reclaiming your time, attention, and connection with your partner.
It’s about creating space for the real, meaningful moments that make your relationship thrive. It’s about choosing each other over the allure of the digital world.
Take control of your digital habits, nurture your relationship, and rediscover the joy of connecting with your partner on a deeper level. You deserve it, and so does your relationship.
Alexandra Rivera is a passionate educator and advocate with over a decade of experience championing sexual and gender equality. With a background in sociology and gender studies, Alexandra has dedicated her work to promoting inclusivity, understanding, and empowerment for individuals of all identities. Through education, storytelling, and advocacy, she strives to break down stigmas and foster a world where everyone feels seen, respected, and celebrated. She is also a self-proclaimed artist channeling her creative side on pottery and sketching.
