So, you’re thinking about adding a little spice to your sex life?
Maybe you’ve seen a scene in a movie, or a friend has shared something, and your curiosity is piqued. That’s fantastic!
Exploring kink-friendly play positions toys together can be a fantastic way to deepen intimacy, discover new pleasures, and strengthen your bond.
The key is open communication, trust, and a healthy dose of adventure.
In this guide, we’ll explore five positions and some fun toys that can help you and your partner dive into the world of kink, safely and enjoyably.
You’ll gain practical ideas to try tonight, understand how to prioritize consent, and learn how to navigate potential awkwardness with humor and grace.
1) The “Praying Mantis” Position
A unique blend of intimacy and control as one partner lies on their back, while the other kneels facing them, with their knees on either side of the bottom partner’s hips. This allows for deep kissing, intense eye contact, and easy access for hands-on exploration.
The kneeling partner has control over the pace and depth, while the bottom partner can focus on receiving and guiding the experience.
This position facilitates a power dynamic that can be very arousing for those interested in exploring dominance and submission.
To add a kinky element, consider using restraints on the bottom partner’s wrists or ankles to further emphasize the power exchange.
Remember, communication is key! Check in with your partner throughout the experience to ensure they are comfortable and enjoying themselves.
Consider varying the pace from gentle caresses to more assertive touch to discover what sensations resonate most strongly.
For couples looking to strengthen emotional connection, this position can be really helpful due to the intensity of the direct gaze and close proximity.
2) The “Suspension Bridge”
This position gets a little more acrobatic but can be incredibly rewarding.
One partner lies on their back with their knees bent and feet flat on the bed. The other partner lies on top, facing the opposite direction, supporting their weight on their hands and feet, creating a “bridge” over the bottom partner.
You will see, this position allows for deep penetration and a unique sensation of weight and pressure.
For a kinky twist, the top partner can use their hands to gently spank or tease the bottom partner. Alternatively, consider using a Liberator Wedge Pillow (affiliate link) to elevate the bottom partner’s hips, enhancing the angle and depth of penetration.
From my experience with couples, this position is often loved by those who enjoy a sense of vulnerability and surrender, allowing the top partner to be in complete control.
Always prioritize safety! Ensure both partners have sufficient strength and flexibility to maintain the position comfortably. A slip could lead to injury, so consider starting slow and building up to the full expression of the position.
3) Bondage Butterfly
Where things get a little more daring, this position requires some equipment.
The submissive partner is positioned lying on their stomach, with their arms spread out above their head, and their legs spread out. You can gently restrain each hand with soft restraints to the bed.
Then gently, but firmly, attach each leg with restraints. The dominant partner can then tease and please their submissive partner.
This position allows the submissive partner to feel vulnerable and exposed, enhancing the sense of power exchange. Bondage does not need to be painful or rough; it can be an exercise in trust, communication, and exploration.
Before engaging in any bondage play, make sure you have discussed limits and safewords.
Keep in mind that the key to a good experience exploring kink fantasies is open communication, trust, and a willingness to experiment.
4) The “Wheelbarrow”
This is another position that requires some strength and coordination, but the sensation can be incredibly intense.
One partner stands with their legs slightly apart, while the other partner places their hands on the floor in front of them, creating a “wheelbarrow” position. The standing partner then supports the bottom partner’s legs, allowing for deep penetration and a unique angle.
The standing partner controls the movement and pace. To add a kinky element, consider using a riding crop or flogger to gently tease the bottom partner’s buttocks or thighs.
This position is not for the faint of heart, so it’s essential to communicate clearly and ensure both partners are comfortable.
I encourage couples to see sexual exploration as a journey of discovery, one that involves a willingness to push boundaries while honoring limits.
Toys to Enhance Kink-Friendly Play
Toys can be a fantastic addition to any kink-friendly play session, but choosing the right ones is key. Here are a few options to consider:
- Vibrators: From bullet vibrators to rabbit vibrators, there are countless options to explore different sensations and intensities. A We-Vibe offers connection and intimacy.
- Restraints: Soft restraints, such as silk scarves or rope, can add a playful element of control and surrender.
- Floggers and crops: These can be used for light impact play, adding a sensual and stimulating element.
- Gags: Ball gags or cloth gags can be used to explore sensory deprivation and power dynamics.
Before introducing any toy, discuss it with your partner and ensure they are comfortable with it. Start slow and experiment with different sensations and techniques.
It is important to purchase high quality adult toys for the purposes of safer sex, and better hygiene.
“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it – basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.”
Experimenting with Sensation Play
Sensation play involves exploring different tactile experiences to enhance arousal and pleasure. This can include using feathers to lightly tease the skin, applying ice or heat to create contrasting sensations, or using textured fabrics to create interesting tactile experiences.
The key is to be mindful of your partner’s comfort level and communicate openly about what feels good and what doesn’t. Some couples find that blindfolding one partner enhances the intensity of sensation play, heightening their focus on the tactile experience.
Be sure to have a safe word in place!
Additionally, focus on areas of the body that are particularly sensitive, such as the neck, inner thighs, and nipples. Don’t forget the importance of aftercare, which might include cuddling, gentle massage, or simply spending quiet time together to process the experience.
The beauty of sensation play lies in its versatility – it can be adapted to suit any couple’s preferences and boundaries.
Remember, the aim is to explore and discover new avenues of pleasure, strengthening intimacy and building a deeper connection with your partner.
Consent and Aftercare: The Unsung Heroes
Consent is not a one-time agreement; it’s an ongoing conversation.
Check in with your partner frequently during kink-friendly play to ensure they are still comfortable and enjoying themselves. Nonverbal cues are just as important as verbal communication. Pay attention to your partner’s body language and facial expressions.
If they seem tense or uncomfortable, stop and reassess.
Aftercare is just as important as the play itself. This is a time to reconnect emotionally and physically. Cuddle, talk, and reassure each other.
Share your experiences and discuss what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. Aftercare helps to create a safe and supportive environment, encouraging further exploration and deepening intimacy.
Keep in mind that aftercare is essential, and it requires a lot of attention.
Final Thoughts From a Sex Therapist
Last week, I had a couple in my office, John and Micah, who were struggling with a lack of excitement in their sex life. They had been together for seven years, and the routine had become, well, routine.
After discussing their comfort levels and boundaries, I suggested they explore incorporating some elements of kink into their play.
They were hesitant at first, but after a few sessions of open communication and gentle experimentation, they discovered a whole new world of pleasure and connection.
Micah admitted that she had always been curious about light bondage, but was afraid to bring it up. John, surprisingly, was thrilled to explore his dominant side. The experience not only reignited their passion but also deepened their communication and trust.
Exploring kink-friendly play positions toys isn’t about being “weird” or “deviant”; it’s about expanding your horizons and discovering new ways to connect with your partner on a deeper level.
It’s a journey of exploration and discovery that can lead to greater intimacy, communication, and pleasure.
So, embrace your curiosity, communicate openly, and have fun!
Lila Anderson is an intimacy expert providing accessible and inclusive education on sexual health and relationships. Known for her engaging and down-to-earth approach, Lila has worked with individuals, schools, and community organizations to foster informed, open conversations. She wants to empower people with the knowledge they need to make confident, healthy decisions, and to create a world where everyone feels equipped to explore and understand their sexuality and relationships. Although she’s still in her 3rd year of practice, she has been well-loved by her friends and acquiantances for being so relatable and down to earth.
