Oral sex can be one of the most intimate and pleasurable experiences in a relationship—when both partners are fully enjoying it.
But for many, it can sometimes feel routine, one-sided, or even awkward. The key to making oral sex more enjoyable isn’t just about technique; it’s about comfort, communication, and a willingness to explore what feels good for both of you.
Great oral sex isn’t just about giving—it’s about creating an experience where both partners feel pleasure, confidence, and connection.
Whether you’re looking to enhance your skills, overcome discomfort, or simply make the experience more exciting, small adjustments can make a big difference.
In this guide, we’ll cover seven ways to make oral sex more enjoyable for both of you, helping you turn it into something you both genuinely look forward to.
Let’s unravel this together, exploring new dimensions of enjoyment that can transform the experience for both partners.
1) Focus on comfort and relaxation
For oral sex to be truly enjoyable, both partners need to feel comfortable—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Awkward positioning, self-consciousness, or tension can take away from the pleasure of the experience. If one partner is uncomfortable, it can be difficult to fully enjoy giving or receiving.
To improve comfort, choose positions that allow both of you to relax rather than strain. Lying down, propping yourself up with pillows, or even using furniture for support can make a big difference.
This intentional atmosphere allows focus on each other, free from distractions. Consider what makes you feel at ease and incorporate those elements.
For the receiving partner, relaxing into the moment instead of worrying about appearance or performance can enhance sensitivity and pleasure.
Taking slow, deep breaths and allowing yourself to fully enjoy the sensations can transform the experience.
2) Communicate before and during
Many people assume that oral sex should be intuitive, but the truth is, every person has different preferences. Open communication is key to making the experience better for both of you.
Before getting started, talk about what you enjoy, any discomforts, and what you’d like to try. During the act, nonverbal cues like moaning, body movements, and changes in breathing can guide the giver in real-time.
A simple phrase like, “That feels amazing,” or, “A little slower,” can make all the difference in ensuring both partners are on the same page.
If talking during oral sex feels unnatural, checking in afterward about what felt good (or what could be better) builds trust and ensures a more satisfying experience next time.
Expressing what feels good, what doesn’t, and what you’re curious to explore can turn an ordinary experience into an extraordinary one.
3) Don’t rush—enjoy the journey
One of the most common mistakes people make with oral sex is treating it as a rushed act rather than an experience to be savored. Quick, goal-oriented movements can make it feel mechanical rather than intimate.
Take your time and build anticipation. Tease your partner by starting with kisses on the inner thighs, light touches, and slow, deliberate movements. Vary the speed and pressure to create an experience that keeps them on edge.
For the giver, focusing on the moment rather than feeling pressured to “finish the job” makes the act more enjoyable. The more present you are, the more satisfying it will be for both of you.
You may also need to let go of rigid planning and embrace the spontaneity of the moment. This approach can infuse your encounters with a sense of adventure and unpredictability, keeping the flame of desire burning brightly.
4) Explore beyond the obvious
What does this mean, you might ask.
While the clitoris or the penis head may be the primary areas of focus during oral sex, pleasure isn’t limited to just one spot. Exploring other erogenous zones can make the experience far more pleasurable and exciting.
For women, stimulating the inner thighs, lower stomach, or even light pressure around the pelvic area can heighten arousal. For men, incorporating sensations along the inner thighs, perineum, and even teasing around the base or testicles can amplify pleasure.
Using your hands in combination with oral stimulation—whether it’s gentle caresses, massaging other areas, or varying movement—can add layers to the experience and make it feel more immersive.
5) Use moisture and sensory play
A dry experience can quickly make oral sex uncomfortable or less pleasurable. Using natural saliva, flavored lubricants, or even incorporating warm breath against the skin can make sensations more intense and enjoyable.
For added excitement, sensory play can enhance oral sex. Experiment with temperature play by sipping cold water before taking your partner in your mouth or using warm breath to create contrast.
Textures like ice cubes, feathers, or even edible elements like honey can add variety and surprise to the experience.
These small sensory additions can keep oral sex from feeling repetitive and make it more engaging for both partners.
If you’re exploring new territory, such as incorporating flavored lubricants or toys, ensure both partners are enthusiastic about these additions. Speaking of which, a product like the Shibari Personal Lubricant can enhance pleasure by reducing friction and adding a new sensory experience.
Integrating such products thoughtfully can open new doors to satisfaction.
6) Change up the rhythm and technique
Repetitive movements can lead to desensitization, making oral sex feel less pleasurable over time. Varying rhythm, intensity, and technique keeps the experience exciting.
Some effective ways to do this include:
- Alternating between soft, slow licks and firmer, more focused movements
- Adding gentle suction for a different type of stimulation
- Using circular, up-and-down, or side-to-side motions to find what works best for your partner
- Changing depth, speed, or pressure gradually rather than staying at one pace
For both partners, being open to trying new angles, speeds, or techniques makes the experience feel fresh and unpredictable.
7) Make it a two-way connection
Many people think of oral sex as a one-sided act, but when both partners are mentally and emotionally engaged, it can feel deeply connected. Rather than treating it as something one partner “does” for the other, shift the mindset to shared pleasure.
The giver can focus on enjoying the act itself—feeling their partner’s reactions, taking pride in their pleasure, and exploring what excites them. The receiver, rather than passively lying back, can express gratitude, touch their partner, or give feedback to turn it into an interactive experience.
Eye contact, moaning, body movements, or even small whispers of encouragement can make the act feel intimate rather than routine. When both partners stay engaged, oral sex becomes not just physically satisfying, but emotionally fulfilling as well.
The more you communicate, the more fulfilling your encounters will be.
Make oral pleasure an experience, not just an act
Oral sex should be an experience that brings both partners closer together, enhances pleasure, and strengthens intimacy. By focusing on comfort, communication, variety, and connection, you can transform it into something that both partners genuinely enjoy.
The key is to be present, experiment with different techniques, and most importantly—have fun exploring each other’s pleasure.
The key is to approach it with curiosity rather than pressure, focusing on what feels good rather than just reaching a goal. Whether you’re slowing down, incorporating new sensations, or simply being more present in the moment, small adjustments can make a big difference.
Great oral sex isn’t just about giving—it’s about connecting, responding, and enjoying the pleasure you create together.
Michael Carter is a seasoned professional with a decade of experience specializing in sexual health and sexually transmitted infections. As a dedicated advocate for public health, Michael has worked extensively to raise awareness about the prevention of sex-related diseases. With a blend of scientific rigor and an approachable style, he aims to empower readers with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions about their health and well-being. When not writing, he likes to bond with his closest friends over Japanese food or a drink.
